Gobble 'til You Wobble

Apparently, once a year humans have a ritual where they eat as much food as they possibly can.

They INTENTIONALLY colic themselves. How bizarre.

Mother stopped up after her family's gathering to give us our evening meal last night.

She says it isn't good to feed us until we wobble...

But I think the donkeys may have reached and surpassed that point. There is talk of a fat farm or focus camp in their future...

The construction of such a facility is bound to prove entertaining!

Snapped

To my surprise, I saw a lot of Mother this weekend. She fed us all of our meals. She beefed up fence-line security by trimming back weeds and brush, seeing as the wood fence is in many ways more of a visual barrier than anything else... when Bert is around, it is wise to have the zapping fence working.

Or donkeys. It is good for donkeys to get zapped.

Anyway, it was nice having her around, making my warm mush breakfast and giving me treats. She was muttering strangely as she cleaned, however. Something about toilets and rules...

At first I was puzzled. Belle and I have pretty set patterns, and our run in is typically standard to clean. We had followed the pattern. What was Mother going on about?

 Listening closer, I realized she was talking about her toilet. Whaaaaat? Apparently, her domicile has an eccentric... facility.

She was grumbling under her breath about the Rules to the Toilet placard she plans to post in her bathroom.Something about potential lawsuits?

Rules to the Toilet

1. Please read all instructions before attempting to utilize this device.
2. Remember, like animals and children, toilets can sense fear. Never let it know you are afraid.
3. No matter what happens, DO NOT PANIC. Worst case scenario, you can always turn off the water at the wall.
4. Locate the water shut off valve at the wall before attempting to flush, to insure prompt response in case of aforementioned worst case scenario.
5. When flushing the toilet, lightly and quickly flush the handle. Do not linger.
6. The burden placed upon the toilet is irrelevant. Do not grow complacent. You never know what tiny thing may set it off on its runaway course. You may be surprised by its bravery at other points.
7. Timing the drop of the toilet seat lid at the very end of the flush portion of the cycle seems to help ensure a smooth operation next flush.
8. The plunger is always within easy reach.
9. If in doubt, refer to rule number 3.
10. After bowl is cleared, remain standing anxiously while bowl refills... refills... refills... this may take a while.

Proceed to your right to utilize the sink

Rule of the Sink

1. Unless you are a speed washer, turn on the cold water as well as the hot, in close to equal amounts. The hot water achieves scalding temperature within 8 seconds of initiation.


I think Mother has lost it. What is she talking about??

New Exercise Program?

Mother came up and trimmed my hoovies tonight. The amount of huffing and puffing was ridiculous.

I need to start her on an exercise program.

Maybe I should become hard to catch...

Geez, Mother, how many pictures do you have of me with my tongue out?

A 2x4

Mother gave me four cookies today. She spent less than two minutes with me.

I should have KNOWN she was going to be ignoring me, because there has been a single cookie in each of my grains this week. But no Mother for 8 days, and then when she does show up, she's there just 2 minutes.

What is the world coming to?

What? No, I am NOT crying.

I'm MAD!

Irresistible

A picture is worth a thousand words...

 I'm thinking just one word wraps it up: 

Irresistible.

Ooh, ooh, maybe this one says it better?

Red, White, and/or Donkey

Theoretically, humans are preoccupied today with something called "voting". At least, Mother gave that excuse (among others) for why she wasn't up here to visit me today. In order to better understand this phenomenon, I did some research.

Apparently, one can vote red

(nice tail)

Or one could vote donkey

Honestly, I don't think MY life will be affected either way... and I'm not old enough to vote for quite a few years yet.

Humans make everything so complicated!

Fall Preparations

The Aunties are soon going to be changing our summer accommodations into their winter counterparts.

But I like my view...

And the open and airy feel...

But my winter fuzz proves that cold weather and chilly winds are fast approaching. So up will go the solid wall, and tarps over the fly mesh. That's OK. I'll still get to go in and out whenever I want, and there will be plenty of hay, and Belle appreciates those wind blocks because she is a thin coated, soft little quarter horse.

Not a tough Nokota like me.

DIY Organic Accupuncture

Mother has mentioned that Aunt Nancy is getting training in veterinary acupuncture. Little does she know that I already have experience in this area. If fact, I have been performing at-home, all organic acupunture for years.

Just this afternoon, in fact, when Mother let me out on the lawn, I took care of several problem areas

I'm sure Aunt Nancy will be almost as good, though.

All's Wrong with the World

Last weekend, Mother and Aunt Carol disappeared with two of the donkeys. I took this as a good sign, hoping they would return and remove two more donkeys.

No. They took the donkeys to get religion, or something. They went to church, twice. Something about a petting zoo and little kids in costumes.

Needless to say, this means I got scarcely a pat and a cookie. Then Mother did not come up Sunday.
Or Monday.
Or Tuesday.
Or Wednesday.
See where I am going with this?

She hasn't been up here AT ALL this week. Her excuses of work and bad weather and being under the weather are not sufficient.
Her pleas that she still doesn't have internet so I can at least have some contact with someone somewhere are not sufficient.

Something serious must be done.

I just don't know what. I'm only a horse, after all. Besides being loveable, what method can I possibly use to influence her?