Modern Marvel: Fly Spray

I have a secret confession... I love fly spray. I do not, as previously mentioned, care for fly masks. I find Swat in my ears and on bug-biting body bits is tolerable. I hate when Mother puts Gnataway (or Gnatural cream, or whatever they're calling it these days) on me. It's slimy, creamy texture gives me the heebie jeebies. Mother says Cappy used to love when she applied it, but I certainly don't! Swat doesn't feel the same, so I deal.

I will admit I did not like fly spray when I was introduced to it. Mother at first would spray some on her hand, then apply it to my coat. After a few days, she wasn't always the most careful sprayer, and some mist would find my hide when she sprayed it into her hand. I was not pleased, but not bothered enough to move away. After a few days of that, she would do the first one on her hand, then spray me as she swept her hand along my hide, as if she was still wiping. Fine, whatever.

Fast forward two years. I, freshly groomed, stand patiently in the cross ties, eager to go consume green, green grass... yummm.



Oh, so anyway, she walks out with two bottles of fly spray, and just starts double barreling me. It's awesome.
The sky turns bluer, the grass greener, I can hear the cats moving around in the house, I smell purple... oh, I mean, uh... uhhhmm.

About last summer, I made an important discovery: Fly spray keeps the flies AWAY! No more frantic runs up to the others in the herd, hoping the fly will pick a better target. Much less flinging and swinging, trying to remove the little monsters from my person.

It's the best invention since the rubber curry. Maybe better, because I can always just rub against a tree or something, but fly spray... wow. I can't think of a better invention, except Mrs. Pastures cookies.