Complaints

Mother says wi-fi doesn't work down here at the barn when she is really busy. I don't see how she's really busy, though; she is only around here a few hours every day, and she mostly sits around and talks. That doesn't seem busy. And she's been down here even less than usual this week. So she has plenty of time... how is she busy?

And I overheard some terrible news today. The humans were saying how hard it is to find Mrs. Pastures cookies. Apparently the local stores they buy them from are out. There is a Mrs. Pastures cookie famine in southwest Ohio! What if it is state, oh no, country wide?!? Mother says we're OK because she still has two thirds of a bag left, but I'm worried... this is why I don't like to listen to human words. It's bad news.

What if my talking about them has caused horses everywhere to persuade their owners to go buy Mrs. Pastures for them?! I just like them so much, though... I mean, they are crunchy and sweet and perfect. And Mother likes that they aren't super processed (whatever that means). But I shouldn't have told anyone. What if there aren't any available for me? sniff... sniff...

And Mother has been riding other horses more often. I see her go off with one, while I am stuck standing in the pasture. Without my grain! Or my hay! Why doesn't she want to ride me anymore? It's just a bad joint... I'm used to it. I had it before, when she was teaching me. Of course, I was a little grumpy when it was sore. I didn't buck or anything like that, just... reluctant about things.

Or, when she does do something besides brush me, she puts the belly band with the rings on and we ground drive. That's all right, but not very exciting... Except last night, when she started driving me after the sun was already long gone. We were out a ways on the driveway when the coyotes that live in the neighborhood set up an unholy racket. Then I saw brief flashes of what looked like Thippers and Rebelbebel in the swift moving car headlights. And the coyotes did not sound right at all. I was very worried, and wanted to go back to the barn and my stall and dinner... and away from the demonic coyotes and the creepy images that were not quite my friends... this was all NOT RIGHT.

Mother wouldn't let me go back. I alarm snorted, several times actually, to let her know how unsafe it was. I danced in place so that if she let me go back to the barn we could get there quickly. Mother said later I looked like a contestant on "So You Think You Can Dance?". I don't know what that is. The coyotes kept getting louder, the ones that didn't sound right at all, and I could hear ghostly hoof beats on the driveway. I admit, I was on the verge of a mental breakdown. If Mother hadn't been there, I would have been in my stall in 2.3 seconds.

Mother was right though, when she said it was OK. It WAS Thippers and Rebelbebel with their humans. I realized it was the humans making the unholy coyote noises. I knew those yips just weren't right.

Mother made me walk up and down the driveway a few more times. Then she brought me in the barn and brushed me. And when she gave me my evening cookies, there were three of them all in a row when I picked them up. YUMM!!